By Ryan Gleason
Published: March 13th, 2019
As a film student, I feel I should watch as many movies as I can. I hadn’t seen “A Star is Born” when it was first released and so when they decided to re-release it for a week following their best song Oscar win, I thought it was the perfect opportunity. I messed up. I didn’t see it. But I already promised the editors a review so I am going to just guess at what I think the movie was about.
The movie starts with Lady Gaga going to the south to farm more meat for a new meat dress. She misses her wild and outrageous style and feels with the current social climate, we could use some free flowing creativity in the world. There she meets Bradley Cooper doing his best Blake Shelton impersonation.
Lady Gaga tries to enter a karaoke contest but the redneck hecklers that live down there are NOT HAVING IT. So they tell her she isn’t talented in an attempt to get her to leave. They dye her hair brown in an attempt to ruin her image. She decides to give up music in general until Bradley Cooper tells her she is the bomb-diggity.
They decide to write a song together and it is good! Cooper starts with “Tell me somethin’ girl, don’t make it bad. Take a sad song, and make it better” and Lady Gaga is like head over heels for this. They duet and win the contest! She decides she doesn’t need a meat dress; she just needs Bradley Cooper!
What a great movie. So great. The greatest. I mean, I bet it is great. I hope it’s great. They won an award for best song so I’m assuming it’s the greatest. Maybe I will watch it when it comes to Redbox. I am not one of those Netflix/HBO/Amazon Prime capitalist pigs! I’m grassroots! I am a simple man.