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Brooklyn College Named Best School in New York to Attend if You Don’t Want to Talk to Anyone

The Brooklyn College Library, a safe haven for BC students who don’t want to talk to anyone. PHOTO/ brooklyn.cuny.edu
The Brooklyn College Library, a safe haven for BC students who don’t want to talk to anyone. PHOTO/
brooklyn.cuny.edu

By Ben Cohn

Published: April 1st, 2017

US News and World Report has come out with a new study, which shows that Brooklyn College is the best school to attend in New York City for those who do not want to engage in conversation with others.

The lack of a social life on campus and the fact that many students commute to the school makes it easy to avoid both human contact and the effort most college students who go away to college have to put in to make friends.

Many people who attend Brooklyn College just want to go to class, get their degrees, and go home. These people made receiving the recognition possible. People are able to keep their friends from high school, and aren’t forced to do any type of branching out. BC students would consider these types of social interactions to be a waste of time.

Many other campuses spend thousands of hours creating ways for people to meet each other and create a social cohesive campus. Brooklyn College trusts that its students have the wherewithal to either remain in isolation or continue to rely on people who they may not even like any more. 

Fraternities and sororities at Brooklyn College have been known to make their parties expensive and unappealing in order to avoid burdening their classmates with unnecessary social interactions.

Brooklyn College is even thinking of making the campus silent and forbidding students from talking to each other on the quad in order to keep people focused. Horse blinders have been suggested at several board meetings. 

Senior Jordan Montgomery, who is a psychology major, talked to us about why he is proud of the recent report. “Yeah, you know I was dreading the fact that I would have to meet new people and do all the breaking-the-ice shit,” he said. “I’m all about staying in my bubble and my comfort zone. Brooklyn College doesn’t push me to do anything I don’t want to do and I know I’ll come out of it with the same social skills I had when I was 14. I’m proud of that.”

Brooklyn College also ranked high on the list of schools that have the most access to jerk chicken in the country.

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11 comments

  1. Okay…is this study a joke? Also why make the last reference? What the hell does that have to do with the initial subject?

  2. This is facts b

  3. This is not true. I made many great friend at BC. Also what are they implying at the end ?

  4. April fools satire. Great school.

  5. Honestly this is very depressing. Brooklyn College and it’s administration needs to work on this. We are social creatures, we need social interaction.

    I can relate to this article because the campus social life and people are wack. Especially those people from the Flatbush and Midwood area.

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