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April Fool’s Day

Faculty Party Will Cost Over $500k, Features Smash Mouth and Comedians

Lewis Black will be one of the many forms of entertainment at this year’s faculty Spring Break Bash. PHOTO/ Flickr Creative Commons

By Adam Zaki Published: April 1st, 2017 The annual Spring Break bash taking place at SUBO’s rooftop lounge next week has professors and administration alike chatting about this year’s biggest party on campus. “It’s going to be lit,” said President Michelle Anderson, who has vowed to make this year the biggest …

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Philosophy Professors Give Up, Life Declared Devoid of Meaning

By Ben Cohn Published: April 1st, 2017 After thousands of years of research and discussion, philosophy professors nationwide have decided to call it quits. The subject of philosophy no longer exists. The philosophy department at Brooklyn College has disbanded, and all of its professors have either given into the darkness or …

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Brooklyn College President to Enroll as Student in Fall Semester

Almost a year into her tenure as Brooklyn College President, Michelle Anderson has announced that she will be enrolling as a student next semester. PHOTO/ City University of New York

By Radhika Viswanathan Published: April 1st, 2017 “Honestly, I think she’s gone off the deep end,” said Jason Carey, Brooklyn College’s assistant vice president of marketing, communications, and public relations. “We knew the stress would get to her; we just didn’t think it would happen so soon.” Carey was referring to …

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Brooklyn College Gets Exclusive Rights To Broadway Hit Hamilton

Fans will no longer have to wait months or spend a fortune to get tickets to see Hamilton, once the popular Broadway show makes its way to Brooklyn College. PHOTO/ www.broadwayinchicago.com

By Sheba Antony Published: April 1st, 2017 Inspired by the great progress on the construction of the new Leonard and Claire Tow Center for the Performing Arts, an anonymous group of alumni has purchased exclusive rights to the acclaimed Broadway show, “Hamilton: An American Musical.” When the show ceases its …

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Howard Stern to Take Over WBCR

Brooklyn College has announced that the infamous shock jock Howard Stern will take over WBCR beginning Fall of 2017. PHOTO/ Flickr Creative Commons

By Adam Zaki Published: April 1st, 2017 The Brooklyn College Office of Communications has announced that the legendary broadcaster Howard Stern will become the President of Radio Operations at Brooklyn College’s WBCR, an opportunity for the campus’ radio station to take the next step into broadcasting. “I’m here to get …

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Escalators to Replace Broken Elevators

After months of complaints, broken elevators will be replaced with escalators. PHOTO/ Flickr Creative Commons

By Zainab Iqbal Published: April 1st, 2017 It’s official. After months of complaints from student and faculty, Brooklyn College administration finally decided to take action and replace the broken elevators—with escalators. But before the whole campus gets refurbished, there will be a trial run in James Hall, where currently only …

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Record Numbers of Graduation Applicants in Wake of Bernie Sanders Announcement

Brooklyn College can credit Bernie Sanders for the record-breaking number of students that will be graduating this semester. PHOTO/ Flickr Creative Commons

By Sheilagh Lichtenfels Published: April 1st, 2017 Over 17,000 Brooklyn College students have applied to graduate since the school announced that Bernie Sanders would be delivering this year’s commencement speech. This is the highest number of attempted graduations in this school’s history, totaling almost exactly the number of undergraduates enrolled …

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