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Faculty Party Will Cost Over $500k, Features Smash Mouth and Comedians

Lewis Black will be one of the many forms of entertainment at this year’s faculty Spring Break Bash. PHOTO/ Flickr Creative Commons
Lewis Black will be one of the many forms of entertainment at this year’s faculty Spring Break Bash. PHOTO/ Flickr Creative Commons

By Adam Zaki

Published: April 1st, 2017

The annual Spring Break bash taking place at SUBO’s rooftop lounge next week has professors and administration alike chatting about this year’s biggest party on campus.

“It’s going to be lit,” said President Michelle Anderson, who has vowed to make this year the biggest celebration on campus in decades. “We have worked hard as faculty and administrators this year. Organizing a contract, creating new programs, embracing diversity–those who work on campus have gone the extra mile.”

This year’s bash will go without a theme, escaping the 30-year tradition of giving each celebration a theme that is picked by a rotating commission of departments. Instead, this year will focus less on molding the celebration to a theme, and focus more on each individual having a good time.

Some of this year’s party rules include no spouses or significant others, automatic exemption from college activities the next day to those who apply, and a laid-back dress code. “Business casual with a notion for motion,” reads the invitation, which was sent to a select number of faculty. The invitation also includes numerous musical acts and special guests that will be providing entertainment for the party.

“We are extremely excited for the entertainers who will make this night memorable,” said Anderson, who booked the 90’s hit-band Smash Mouth—a personal favorite of hers—as the headliner. “I have a feeling when they play ‘All Star’ the faculty will be able to bond together like [they] haven’t been able to before.”

Other entertainers for the evening includes stand-up comedians Lewis Black and Artie Lange, who have been cleared to be as “obscene and controversial” as possible by the college, breaking the tradition of keeping the faculty parties family friendly. “This isn’t the White House Correspondents’ Dinner,” said Anderson. “This is going to be a yanger.”

With catering from luxury restaurants like Nobu, Eleven Madison Park and Gotham Bar and Grill, the festivities will include premier, buffet-style food and drinks, unlimited bottle service provided by Marquee and transportation to and from the event for all guests provided by Maserati of Manhattan. 

“This will be the party of the year,” said Jason Carey, Assistant Vice-President of Marketing and Communications for Brooklyn College. “A major critique of [Brooklyn College] is that it has a poor social environment for students. As faculty, we want to set an example of what it means when members of the [Brooklyn College community] have a good time.”

With an estimated tab of over $500 thousand, the celebration is considered an investment in the morale of faculty on campus. “Our hard-working staff deserves this more than anything,” said Anderson. “The celebration will pay off immensely. The goal is to set aside our differences of opinion based on academic backgrounds and focus on partying until the sun comes up.”

With an extra security force being added to this year’s event, the school is prepared for faculty to push the limits of the night’s celebrations. “We’ve promised everyone who has been invited that what happens at the SUBO Bash stays at the SUBO Bash,” Carey said.

Scheduled to begin at 9 p.m. next Friday, the party is off limits to all students. “Security has vowed to make sure no students gain access to the party,” Anderson said. According to campus security, any student caught attempting to gain access to the celebration will be immediately expelled from campus without a hearing.

As students are preparing for the final tests prior to Spring Break, faculty are anxiously awaiting Brooklyn College’s most anticipated celebration in the past 30 years.

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