By Ryan Gleason
Published: November 7th, 2018
More controversy fills the halls of Brooklyn College this week as an adjunct professor in the English Department takes over his hour and fifteen-minute class with his outrageous tangents. As students pour into Professor Harkness’s 9:30 A.M. class, the 29-year-old professor begins to gargle, whistle and make noises unknown to human ears. He begins the lesson with scribbles on the board and speaking an unrecognizable dialect. When asked why he is speaking gibberish, he responded by saying it is his right as an American to say what he wants, even if it isn’t real words.
“Bowzawowza woolooloo, chachacha waheeeee,” said Professor Harkness as I approached him for an interview. He then proceeded to grab his cheeks and pull them outward and in, creating an unsettling smacking sound. He then whistled through his nose and said “Hey, it’s freedom of speech kid, welcome to America,” and then punched me in the shoulder and winked. He then sauntered off, leaving me confused and with a small bruise.
His students aren’t complaining. Despite not being able to comprehend their instructor,the students arrive every Monday and Wednesday on time. They have all decided to play along and just make up sounds to respond to Harkness. His class’s midterm consisted of a 1000 word essay and everyone received a passing mark. The English department claims there is nothing they can do, considering the students are somehow using the assigned readings and doing all assigned work.
Is this freedom of speech or is it an abuse of the very rights we as American hold near and dear to our hearts? Sure, the words said by Harkness are nonsensical gibberish, but does that mean he should get to spew whatever assortment of sounds he creates onto the ears of our student body? You decide.