By Ryan Gleason
Published: May 8th, 2019
As a comedian and writer, I have friends and family constantly asking me (or telling me) to put their jokes, stories, and observations into my work. It is incredibly frustrating and I am tired of being an outlet for bits and gags and long-winded tales.
That being said, my girlfriend had some ideas for stories I should write for this column. And since she can give things my family and friends can’t and shouldn’t… I had to give in. So here are my retellings of her HILARIOUS stories that she INSISTED I put in this submission.
My girlfriend and her friend went to the store the other day and when she got there, she had realized she left her wallet at home. SADLY, her friend also forgot her wallet. So, they had to go all the way back to my girlfriend’s home (a 10-minute walk) and get money. Hilarious! Am I right? I do NOT do the story justice.
One time my girlfriend went out to dinner with her family, and her dad saw the waiter’s name tag. The waiter had the same name as him. HAHAHA! I know I only told the story in two sentences, I don’t know how she does it but when my girlfriend told that story it took her 27 minutes. She should be the comic, not me.
She told me this story last week before bed. So I had the night to let this sink into my brain and really absorb the humor it held. So my girlfriend told me about how she watched a video on Facebook and it had an ad for Burger King in the middle of it. Then, later that day, she had Burger King.
These were the funniest stories you have ever heard amiright? My girlfriend told me I JUST HAD to submit these whacky and unreal anecdotes. Hilarity insanity! Tune in next time for when I write out the hilarious jokes my Mom has told me “to put in my act.” I mean… her birthday is coming up so… I might as well.