By Ryan Gleason
Published: March 6th, 2019
No, seriously. Who took my pen? I left it here on my desk and got up for 5 minutes and it is gone. Which one of you sticky-fingered thieves took my pen? Oh, just because I bring a computer to school, you think I won’t need to use a pen? Real mature you guys. C’mon! Where is it?
Tell me who took my pen or else I will tell the professor that you took it. I will cause a scene. Call me Master Splinter because I am a huge rat. But at least I have the decency to NOT steal people’s pens. I used that pen to sign my name on the attendance sheet at the beginning of class so I know I brought it with me today!
Give me back my pen! Please! I don’t have any money to give as a reward upon the return of my pen but I will be forever grateful. I am so sorry if I bothered you in any way beforehand which caused you to take my pen. I promise I will be so quiet and out of the way, you won’t even know I am there from now on.
NO! No more Mister Nice Guy! I want my darn pen back you fricken frack! I hope whoever took my pen goes to Heck! Gosh, Darn It! I really wished this newspaper allowed cursing! I would be ripping you a new ash cold!
OK, I AM SORRY FOR LOSING MY TEMPER! I just found it in my laptop case. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I really wish I wasn’t using voice to text to write this article submission. Too late to turn back now, I need to submit something for this week and I have already wasted enough time on this witch hunt. Have a good week everyone. Peace and Love.